Dark Christmas (Poem-9)

The darkness gives light meaning...

My hands drenched in blood

And my feet all pale and sore,

Because of me, tonight

A soul lay dead and no more.

I think about how it happened

About how I'd scarred his head,

About how a little girl's father now

In the freezing snow, lay dead.

He'd tried to move after the stab,

Told me to get him help,

But I paid his request no heed

"It's for the greater good",  I said.

At least the man was now set free

His soul was free to roam,

But I can't trudge back to my place

Since my house isn't my home.

I cover my mouth, let out muffled screams,

Tears forming in my eyes,

Never listened to all of them before,

But now my actions, I criticize.

I collapse into the snow

The knife heavy in my coat,

The man who I murdered today

Didn't he deserve a cut throat?

Yet, I scream in agony,

Unable to forgive myself

What's been done can't be thrown away,

Or buried behind the shelves.

The knife looks sharper to me,

Sparkling with a deep red glint

Murder creates a hole in one's chest

In that hole in me, would it fit?

I can't think, I can't move

I'm paralyzed by the guilt

"O, what's the point of living now?"

I can't even live for myself.

"I can never forgive myself", I say

"But I deserve a second chance-".

And as these thoughts passed through my head

I stabbed him and cut off the trance.

Now he's dead for sure

His traces won't be found,

Now it can't be undone

He lies still, without a sound.

The dawn's rays come striking through

The dull grey clouds of darkness,

And now my pure and brighter self

Has no sins left to confess.

I get on my feet, brush off the snow

And walk towards my home,

"Merry Christmas!" to my family I say

With a warm and happy tone.

Nay, nay, forget my past

For jolly Christmas is here,

I murdered my old self that day

It won't see the light of the new year. 

Merry Christmas everyone! Have a wonderful year ahead!