Turn Back Time

You wish you could, but never truly can...

Today was Blue Ridge College's final year farewell event. All the students and teachers of the final year batch had appeared at the college for one last night of academic togetherness. Hordes of students strolled through the corridors, reliving the past few years of their lives, essentially the last of their childhoods. Due to the pandemic, many had missed a considerable chunk of college life, but had already caught up with reality. To some extent, at least.

A bittersweet aura had filled the air. Students were eating, drinking, chatting away with friends for what could be the very last time they'd see each other, as nobody knew where their lives would take them in the future. 

Amidst the reasonable chaos, Amit sat in a corner of the building, near the stairs, deep in thought.

It was clear that Amit was different from the rest. Quiet, always thinking, reserved, academically weak; these were the labels assigned to him by the people in his class. He scored pretty poorly in subjects like chemistry and physics, due to lack of inclination.

In short, he was the kind of person that wrote down quotes on the blank side of his ID card, each one assigned to a special moment in his life.

As Amit continued to think of one for the present emotion, one of his old classmates, Rakesh, happened to stumble across him. Rakesh was, one could say, the complete opposite of Amit. Academic genius, impulsive, talkative and extremely straightforward; these were his assigned titles. He aspired to become a doctor, a neurosurgeon. It was as though his empathy had been replaced by excessive intellect before his birth, albeit not enough to realize this.

Rakesh sat down next to Amit and said, "Hello Amit! Remember me?", to which Amit replied, "Yes...of course I do. Hello Rakesh."

"Why are you sitting alone on the last day of college man? This is going to be the last day before the preparations start....after that exams'll begin, and you'll never get to meet anyone after you pass out."

Amit said, "I've never experienced this before. This is my first ever farewell. It feels...bittersweet. I'm trying to think of a quote for this particular moment, so that whenever I feel like going back to this day, I could just read it and it'd sort of turn back time."

"Dude, you can do that later. Come, lets meet some friends; come on! Have some fun, don't geek out today at least!"

Amit said, "Look, if I have the right mood, the right mind and the right energy right now, I should write it down right now too, before the emotion can get a chance to escape my mind. Plus, sometimes you feel like going back. But you can't. You never trul-"

"Shut up with the philosophy dude, you'll infect me with your craziness too." Rakesh cut him off, "These views...these quotes; they're all a waste of time. Focus on studies, or you'll end up being a failure in the second semester as well."

Amit was shocked at how blatant and rude Rakesh was being, but tried to protest nonetheless, "Rakesh! Chill out man...life isn't all about studies. Before academic achievements people see how your manners are. How your overall demeanor-"

"Here we go again", Rakesh interrupted, rolling his eyes. "Look, in today's day and age, to even think of meeting those people, you need to top it all. You need marks, marks, and marks. If you don't, you don't belong amongst the others. If you don't, like you haven't all these years, you'll fail, and nobody will ever think of hiring you."

"Rakesh, you call yourself my friend, but did you ever know that I want to become an author? All these quotes will be a part of-"

Rakesh, once more, interrupted him. He began to laugh, and said, "You? An author? Haha, nice one. Do you even know how uncertain that stream is? The chances of success in that stream are so hard, that people like you shouldn't even dream. 'Author' he says...funniest stuff ever..."

This pierced him. Amit felt this like a gunshot, straight to the head. He was enraged...friends are supposed to support their friends, not try and demotivate them. In a fit of anger, he pulled out his ID card and quickly scribbled away a quote. Seeing this, Rakesh tried to snatch it, but Amit pulled it away defensively.

"What's that now? Another stupid quote? A loser, that's what you'll be called. I'm concerned about you, that's why I'm telling you all this. If I don't, who will? You need to scrap this whole author deal and get those marks."

This was another gunshot to Amit...but this time, to the heart. His friend was demotivating him in the name of "concern". He felt insignificant, he truly felt like he had no future. But most of all, he felt like he'd become a failure, a stain of embarrassment to everyone who knew him. He started to shake in fear, the wave of uncertainty began to gradually spread across his body. 

He was having a panic attack.

"Rak-(coughs)-esh...pl-please get me a gl-a-ss of water."

"Alright man, but don't forget what I've told you okay? Once I'm back, we'll have some fun. Some real fun."

Rakesh started to go towards the cafeteria, but got sidetracked by a girl on the way. He immediately recognized her; she was his best friend's sister. 

Amit's sister. 

He started talking with her and soon after realized that she wanted to pursue the same subjects as him for further studies. She wanted to be a neurosurgeon, just like him. He joked, "Maybe we'll be on the same case one day, fixing your brother's brain." Both of them cracked up at this, and promised to talk later.

And then Rakesh remembered Amit.

He got the glass of water, and on the way to the stairs, he thought about his talk with Amit. He felt like maybe he was a little too harsh. He decided to apologize to him after seeing him now...

But Rakesh was greeted by Amit's body, unconscious, and sprawled onto the floor. He had fainted.

Amit had fainted because of the mental wounds Rakesh had cut into his mind. He had fainted because Rakesh wasn't there to console him. He had fainted because Rakesh had forgotten his own best friend.

Rakesh was immediately hit with a wave of deep sorrow, guilt and regret. He tearfully called a student to go call a teacher, and while one left to call for help, he caught a glimpse of Amit's ID card.

"I could use some of that magic right now....I want to turn back time for you Amit. I'm sorry for being so harsh."

And saying so, he picked up the ID card, and read the latest quote that Amit was going to remember this night by in the future.

It read, "better be alone than be in bad company".

***

This once again, was a story targeting every one of us. Almost all of us have friends that we sometimes tease. Sometimes a bit too much. Sometimes we even make fun of them, just for external approval from someone else. We assume that since they're our friends, they'll understand. Now this isn't always wrong, but when it is, it could be the worst possible insult to the person. Imagine being stabbed by your best friend...I don't think anyone would "understand" that feeling instantaneously. 

Now for the studies/work-hobby conflict: whenever you see an academically weak student, please, please do not go and tease him/her. Do NOT call him/her a potential failure. Firstly, because he/she isn't, and secondly, because he/she could be so much more than that in ways you won't know as of now.

Another thing, do not discourage anyone from pursuing their passion. A passion is something that a person goes to as an escape, something they love doing. Now you can probably see why you shouldn't discourage someone from pursuing those. Sure, studies and work are equally important, but there is so much more to life than that. And even if all you want to do is inform him/her out of concern, there's a way to do that. 

Don't threaten, explain. Don't dictate, discuss. 

Don't be Rakesh....or even Amit. Be the best version of yourself.

-Armaan Kothare

Thanks for reading, and have a great time!

(Feel free to leave your thoughts and suggestions in the comment section. Critical feedback is equally welcome.)